Team Hike – Team Extreme Winter 2007 (January 27): Wildcat Shelter Greenwood Lake NY.

Same site as all Team Extremes, 2.1 miles in, 2.1 and miles out.

Thursday and Friday heading into the hike were the coldest days of the winter so far. It looked like the prediction of the hike falling on the coldest day of the year was going to come true. Saturday morning though the hikers were very happy to find significantly warmer temperatures when they got in their cars though, it was actually in the thirties! Reports for the weather that night had temperatures in the twenties and a chance of some flurries. The outlook for Sunday was looking good too with sunny skies and temps heading towards 40. Finally a little good luck for Team Hike. Of course when you get out of your car in preparation of hiking it may be in the thirties but it still feels really freaking cold!

• Spugs
• Boner
• Chet
• Gramps
• Carlo
• Hummer
• Manning
• Dr. Horner
• Alex

Memorable moments:
Early morning Boner woke up and went out shopping in Philadelphia for the hike. At 10 AM sharp Manning picked him up at his house and once again Boner was on the road early for Team Hike. Carlo, Hummer and Alex met up at Gramps’ house and they set out for the adventure at 11:30. They had to stop at a store to pick up some water and while they were there picked up some other supplies as well. Red Bull, Paper towels and a three pack of filthy magazines are all essential to hiking. Carlo is now in possession of the reading material and next time you see him he will be able to give you a detailed description of each one. Chet picked up Dr. Horner in Waretown at 11:30 and they were at exit 90 on the Garden State Parkway when the first two groups met in the parking lot and were readying themselves to hike. Spugs was holed up somewhere with a bunch of little boys racing cars for the Cub Scouts. Hummer and Alex were sucking down beers and Manning was adding a half gallon of Captain Morgan to about six ounces of Coke. Carlo and Gramps were splitting up food and emptying a case of 16 oz beers into their packs and Boner was strapping beer in a brown paper bag to the outside of his pack. After all this important business was taken care of it was time to hike. A nice pace up towards the shelter was underway as was some really pleasant conversation. Boner made sure that we all took the trail up the rocky outcropping so that Alex could really enjoy his first hike. After a photo op the gang continued hiking towards the second set of rocks but this time only half of the troops made it to the top of them as the trail was beating some guys up pretty good. Shortly after they were at Wildcat shelter and began changing into warm and dry clothing and preparing for the night by starting a fire, setting up the bar and searching for wood. There was a wood bench set up and the other bench from inside the hut was placed around the fire as well. Beers were flowing as soon as the hike was over and people were buzzed before we even knew what hit us. Tents began to go up and people were really ready for the rest of the night. Soon after the first crew was settling in Brother Chet and Dr. Horner showed up. As Chet went as far from the other tents as he could find to start setting up his tent another big wood run was under way. It seems like there is always the possibility that we will freeze to death on these hikes because we don’t gather enough wood but this time there was actually too much wood. The next people that come and camp at Wildcat will not have to pick up a single log, there was a ton left behind. Boner had recovered a Swiss Army Knife at the fall team hike that Chet had dropped. When Chet walked into camp Boner asked if it was his. Chet was ecstatic over the find and thanked Boner announcing that a Team Hike Miracle had occurred. Later the knife would come in handy to open a bottle of wine for cooking. This was again another Team Hike Miracle for Chet because since he opened the bottle he was able to drink all the wine that wasn’t used for cooking. When every one was back in camp Carlo declared he was hungry. He had already had two granola bars and a brownie but was ready for some real food. Upon hearing this request Gramps was ordered to start cooking and the first round of food - buffalo shrimp was being made. Chet was instrumental in insuring the quality was at the highest levels possible. He sampled regularly, commented that the shrimp should be cooked so they are crunchier and was in charge of dipping the shrimp in the hot sauce and distributing. Manning didn’t want any shrimp with buffalo sauce on them because that stuff is a little rough on his stomach but was happy to eat fried shrimp. When Chet found out about this he insisted that everyone eat what was on the menu and tried to dump all the shrimp in the sauce. Gramps managed to grab a few of the un-dipped shrimp and feed them to Manning. After the shrimp was done Chet got out his stove and made fish chowder. He had striped bass that he artfully cooked over the fire and then added it to his delicious and creamy clam chowder. As the cooking and eating were going on with much jocularity Alex was slowly drinking himself into a stopper. Chris announced that it was getting cold and it was time to put on his warm weather gear. He appeared like magic around the fire in a hat that resembled Gandalf the Great’s. It was a grey hat that had a bill sticking out around the circumference of his head then it went up to a point like a witch would wear. Dr. Horner is a tall man to start with but with this on his head he was at least 6 foot 6. With the glow of the fire dancing on him as he worked the fire he truly looked like a character out of a movie. Spugs was on the trail at this point and would soon be making his way into camp. He had a heavy heart though his air horn wasn’t working because it was too cold. Gramps got word (via cell phone) that Spugs would soon be in camp so he started cooking stew. He had to cook the sausage, chicken and vegetables in a wok over the fire. Unfortunately the fire was very hot and he was wearing gloves that covered only up to the top knuckle on each hand. Because of this he suffered burns on every single finger tip but didn’t notice this until the next morning. Isn’t beer great? Spugs came into camp while the cooking was underway and delivered smoked salmon to Boner. Boner made a nice little appetizer with the salmon putting in on pumpernickel bread with cream cheese, capers and some red onion – delicious! The stew was simmering on the fire for quite some time when someone shouted when are we going to eat? Upon hearing this Gramps checked the stew and told Boner who was sitting right next to him that it was time to make the rice. Boner thought about using the fire to cook the rice but then thought better of it, he had his stove to boil the water! There was a snag though, Boner had too much gas in his canister and the stove wouldn’t light. “Oh dear, what should I do?” he asked. Then without hesitation or a memory of 11 months earlier he unscrewed the top of the canister and poured gas on the fire. The exact same result occurred, the gas ignited and the canister in Boners hand went up in flames. Spugs saw this and ran for the hills. This year Boner had a much cooler head though and didn’t throw the gas can, he simply tried to pour some gas onto the ground certainly this would put the flames out right? Wrong, the ground at his feet was burning right along with the canister in his hand. Finally Boner huffed and he puffed and he blew the fire out. As he sat there with disgust over doing it again he was casually stamping at the frozen ground that was burning below him. Just like that it was over with and he cooked the rice on the fire. As nice as things were going the night was not without tension. There was no wrestling moves and no one falling into the fire but there was a bit of a personality clash between Manning and Hummer. Seems that Hummer wasn’t really ready for Manning being a ball buster and the Mummer was relentless. Hummer was offended often but he did throw a bunch right back at Manning. At one point he called Manning fat but Manning quickly pointed out he was solid and he showed off his rock hard calves. Hummer was also offended by Chet calling him a rock star. Carlo ate all this banter up and laughed hysterically all night. Chet and Boner erected a makeshift ladder and ascended onto the roof of the lean-to. From there they had a much better view of the festivities taking place around the fire. They unfortunately ran out of beer and were forced to descend when attempts to have beer thrown up to them were rejected mainly by Hummer who was insulted that the empties were dropped off the roof and almost hit him. Next up to bat on the cooking tip was Spugs. He cooked some big steaks on a nice grill with a handle that he had brought up. Done to perfection the steak was cut up and passed around. At this point the crew was starting to get full so the chalice of vodka and cranberry (1 to 100 mix) was passed around. The beer supply was getting low so Gramps skillfully slithered off to be ad at about 1:00 am. Upon realizing the Gramps was gone Chet announced he was also going to bed. Chet responded to threats of f-ing with his tent if he went to sleep with a promise to wildly swing the cold steel blade of his newly recovered Swiss army knife from the door of his tent in the direction of any and all tent invaders. Boner took a more passive approach and asked Chet to sit by him for a while longer and "savor the moment". Chet complied. The next morning got off to an unusual late start. Gramps was the first one up at 8AM. People were slowly rising, cleaning up around the fire and lean-to and gathering their things. Chet and Chris were the first packed up and ready to go. They were told that a bunch of people were going to the diner to which Chet replied “there will be no stopping, we are going right home”. Gramps, Carlo, Hummer and Alex had their things ready to go and were waiting on Spugs. As Spugs was just about ready Boner woke up in his tent (First Team Extreme Boner ever used a tent) and started packing. He tried yelling at Manning’s tent but there was no movement from within. Outside the tent however was a nice new tent heater that Manning was very proud of the night before. He figured he’d be cozy sleeping in a climate controlled environment. It is unknown how effective it was heating the great outdoors but all campers did notice comment that they were nice and warm sleeping that evening. The five guys that were ready started walk out of the woods at around 10AM and were happy eating at the diner at around 11. The diner has a new sign advertising Tex Mex but there were no items that could be found that constituted such fare. It is also unclear if Manning has made it out of the woods yet.

2/6/2007 Dictated to Gramps by Manning:

“I saw there was some confusion about whether or not I made it out of the woods or not so I wanted to let you all know I was alright”.

Steve woke up Manning at around 10 AM after everyone had gone and Manning felt good after a nice nights rest. He took his morning dump in outhouse that is located in the suburbs where Chet likes to set up camp. After clearing out his system Manning was packed up and ready to go in 15 minutes. Boner at this point was not ready. Manning observed him sitting next to his backpack, packing up slowly and visibly feeling ill. After a few minutes Steve was ready to hike so he grabbed the garbage bag and started leading the way down the hill. Manning offered to carry the garbage bag but Boner insisted he was fine with it. After they had hiked for about a half mile Steve needed to get sick. Manning observed him down on ground and wasn’t really sure if he had fallen ill or simply propped himself in the best possible position to get sick. At this point Manning took lead, he would have waited for his buddy but he was already sweating and didn’t want to freeze. Looking over his shoulder from time to time Boner no where to be found. “I’m not the fastest hiker so I knew Steve was having a hard time when I beat him to the car” Manning would later say. After Steve made it to the car and got his pack loaded Manning started driving and immediately Steve needed to get sick on side of road. Manning wondered after all the puking on the trail how much could he have left. After he was done puking Steve assumed the fetal position in front seat. He was nice and comfortable until he had Manning pull over on RT 17. Puking with the door open Manning couldn’t get into parking lot and an old lady behind him was stuck. The old lady was treated to a display of Steve puking out of the car door for a brief period of time. Finally Manning made it into the parking lot so Boner could puke a little while longer. For the rest of the way home Steve had his hat covering his eyes so he could get some quality sleep. This was interrupted once though when he asked Manning to pull over on the Parkway and Manning said he couldn’t. Steve had to go into his pack and pull out a water bottle so he could puke in that. After they made it to Philly Steve thanked Manning profusely and said he couldn’t have made it without him.

Another mystery that Manning wanted to clear up was his heater being left outside his tent. After he had gone to bed with the heater warming him Steve came and asked him if he could borrow it for a little while. Boner wanted it to go into Hummer’s tent so Alex, Boner and Hummer could keep partying in there. After they were done with their partying Steve returned the heater to Manning. At first Manning left it in the tent with him but his feet were already sweating so he turned off the heater and placed it outside the tent.

As always it is a pleasure for us to grow the Team Hike family so when there were two first time hikers on this trip it excited us. Alex introduced to us through Hummer went to Campmor when he learned of the hike. He reportedly spent around 500 dollars on equipment and was eager to hit the trail. Dr. [Chris] Horner a longtime friend of Chet’s from their piney days in South Jersey finally committed to the trip midweek and headed over to his parents house to dig up some old camping/hunting gear he thought would come in handy. Both first timers had a nice impact on the hike. Dr. Horner arrived and immediately started collecting wood for the fire. After assisting Chet set up their tent in the suburbs again Dr. Horner diligently worked the fire constantly paying attention to the amplitude of the flames, the desired purpose of the fire (cooking or warmth) and cutting and breaking logs to be artfully placed in the fire ring. While Dr. Horner was working the fire Alex was putting on a show that is both familiar to Team Hike but also wonderfully unique in its presentation. From the beginning of Team Hike drinking has always been done in excess. In the early days Gramps would fall asleep with his head out of his tent so he wouldn’t puke in it. Boner attacked Wild Turkey so hard one night that we all wondered if he was going to be able to hike the next day after his wild night of vomit. Who could forget Flush puking in his backpack or the famous picture of Gump leaning against a tree with a fat stream of puke coming out of his mouth and nose. Then there was Shoes puking out of his tent in West Virginia and Chet poking around with a stick and identifying pieces of his dinner. Gay Kevin puked on his first hike but that was behind his tent. Alex spent the early hours of the day drinking with Hummer. By 6PM he was sitting on a bench in front of the fire when he started to puke. It wasn’t a mammoth amount but you could tell the lights in his head were starting to dim. People noticed him puking and asked if he needed help to which he consistently replied “no”. Before we knew it Alex passed out sitting up on the bench only to periodically wake up for a moment to upchuck another small amount. Several offers were made to move him to more comfortable quarters and politely rebuffed each time. After Alex spent about two hours in his sitting up state of mind a decision was finally made to lie him down on boners sleeping mat next to the fire. Hummer was concerned for him and really wanted to move him to the tent but he was assured that he was better off around the fire and manning was quick to point out that he had a nice down jacket on and he’d be OK. In fact it is believed that Manning actually wanted to take that jacket as his own. Happily Alex made a rebound waking up by around ten and even got some food in his stomach. He hung around the fire late enough to get the full Team Hike experience and feel pretty good about making the hike.

E-mails that were sent out:

What: Team Extreme
When: 1/27/2007
Where: Same place as always idiot, Wildcat Shelter near Greenwood Lake NY
The Latin term “El Nino” translates into English as “Red Jacket with one pocket”. Why am I sharing this knowledge with you? Well for some stupid reason meteorologists use this term for a warm winter ( I guess they are too PC to say Indian Summer anymore). What that means for Team Extreme is it may not be all that extreme this year. Of course it has been warm all winter so when we camp at the end of January the temperatures probably will be 2. Anyway last winter we had a great turnout and to sum it up a super fabulous time. Go on www.teamhike.com to get last years details. (By the way if you haven’t gone on the website you should, Mr. Polito has done an excellent job and your picture is probably there!). Chet is really excited about this adventure and pushed hard for the January date. His lack of email knowledge however prevents him from actually initiating contact with you and providing you details about the trip. Here are some things to remember about this hike:

1. I am just a messenger (Rocco), I had very little to do with the planning aside from confirming I am available on the 27th and sending this email.
2. Team Extreme is fun!
3. Last year Pio and Manning brought a wonderful game with them, Team Hikes are always better with the Mummers!
4. My New Year resolution was not to be bothered so much by morons/mellow out. Because of this I will not care anymore who goes and who doesn’t go on the hike. I would like to see you all out there but regardless if you are there or not we’ll still have fun and you will still be a moron.
5. Is The Rick out there and if so will you come?
6. If you do come do not forget beer.

I love you all very much!
Michael