Team Hike Fall 2006, (November 3 – November 5): Arden Valley Road to Island Pond around Tuxedo NY. (Same spot as fall 2004.)

Friday night :

• Boner
• Gramps
• Shoes
• Chet
• Grant
• Fallon
• Hicks
• Sears
• Popper

We finally had a weekend for Team Hike where there was no rain forecast. No rain but freezing temperatures. Friday was a very nice day, sunny and around 50 but when the sun went behind the clouds and the wind blew it felt more like Team Extreme then a fall Hike. But then again when John Sears comes on the fall hikes a trend is beginning for cold temperatures.

Friday morning Grant made his way into Philly and picked up Boner at 10:30. Not only was Boner ready but he was ready early – truly a Team Hike Miracle. They next picked up Fallon and the three of them were smushed into a large SUV with enough equipment to survive for a winter in Antarctica. There was hardly room for them with the large tents, coolers filled with food beer and liquor, their packs, a tent heater or the turkey fryer. They somehow managed though and made their way North. Gramps pulled into Tuxedo at around 1:30 and met up with Shoes at the IGA. After a few minutes shopping they drove to the Island Pond gate where they hoped they would find it open so they could drive to where they were camping. Unfortunately it was locked so getting all the gear into camp was going to actually involve carrying things a quarter mile down a road and into camp. Grant pulled up with Boner and Fallon shortly after and the five unloaded their gear. Next Chet showed up and dumped his stuff off as well. Chet shuttled Grant up to the gate so that five guys could move the gear to camp while he walked up the trail with nothing on his back. It took two trips with each man carrying a lot more then they had wished to get everything into camp. Once in camp though it was a brilliant display of gluttony. Large tents went up with heaters and air mattresses. The turkey fryer was set up, coolers positioned strategically for cooking and drinking, the bar was set up complete with liquor, mixers, a jigger and a funnel. Large comfortable chairs were put around the fire ring and wood was quickly gathered and a fire was roaring in no time.

Grant started out the cooking by dropping scallops and sausage into the turkey fryer. The food immediately disappeared into the boiling oil and Grant informed us that in seconds the cooked scallops would start to float and we could pull them out of the oil. Seconds came and went and the crew realized that they were going to have to help the food out of the oil by scooping it from the bottom of the vat with the turkey base and then pulling the hot tidbits out with tongs. Everything that was put into the oil soon came out, was well done and delicious. After a little bit Grant wanted to get his chicken in the oil and make up some collard greens that he also brought with him. Adding to this culinary masterpiece Boner pulled out Stove Top stuffing and cooked this on his stove he bought in the Korean market. The meal was a hit! As the guys were eating darkness had started to settle in. There was a light on the trail and Sears came walking into camp. John never misses the chance to get in on a good meal. It was only about 5PM and the team was pretty heavily into the beers. Some of the crowd thought that it was going to be an early night with all the food and drink but others wanted to hear none of that. Sears set up his tent and got settled when he announced he was going to have to go back to the road and drive his car to the parking lot. Shortly after this Hicks called and said he was up so a group went to meet him at the gate and carry his stuff into camp while Sears would walk up the trail with him after they parked their cars. Seeing how Chet had already mad the hike it was decided that he was going with them to be their guide back to camp. Boner and Shoes went to get Hick’s stuff while Grant, Jason and Gramps kept an eye on the camp spot and went out to find more wood. As the cars were being parked in the lot Popper pulled up and since he packed light he joined the guided tour back to camp. Of course Popper had his guitar in tow!

When everyone was safely in camp and everyone set their tents up the party really got started and even more food was made. Stromboli was past around and Grant kicked off the funneling with a mind boggling ten second funnel. Of course in his mind it was more like 2.2 seconds but witnesses will confirm that it was of the speed that a second grade girl might brag about. The chalice of choice seemed to be Rock Star and Vodka. There was also a sixty year old bottle of Canadian Club going around the fire and every now and again someone would do another funnel. Popper kept the party going when the guitar was broken out and he was serenading everyone around the fire. Then he broke into a now Team Hike classic Ass Sex (more commonly referred to as Patience by GNR).

The wood was going quickly so people suggested another wood run. Popper and Gramps went out together to find some good logs to burn. Since this was such a popular camp area the ground around the fire ring was pretty much picked bare. The two handsome gentlemen came across a rather large log but thought that with some help they could get it into camp and it would provide many hours of burning power. They started the trek back to the camp spot alone struggling with the 20 foot log. When they could see the fire they called for others to come help them carry it into camp. The maturity of the members of Team Hike was on display at this time and those partying around the fire acted like they couldn’t hear our heroes calling them. First Popper was walking and slipped and wound up with the log in his lap. Once again as they were closer the called for help and were ignored. At this point they realized they were going to have to make it alone which is when Gramps stumbled and wound up with the log in his lap. They finally made it into camp and the guys were impressed with their find. They then tried to complete their joke and asked why they didn’t ask for help but Gramps and Popper saw through this transparent story and had none of it.

At one point Boner snapped and another episode of “when drunks attack” was going down at the spot. This time though a fatal mistake was made by Boner and he attacked Chet. He put his shoulder into Chet’s midsection and if he was bigger it would have been a perfect tackle. However he hit a redneck piney and Chet’s reaction may have ended Boner’s affection for attacking people when he was drunk. Chet simply caught his balance and grabbed Boner like a human bagpipe. He started slamming Boner into a rock in self defense. Six times he pushed him into the rock and then pushed him to the ground and held him down by the back of his neck. All Boner could do is pitifully ask “why are you being so mean to me?”. Grant took a particular liking to the beating as he had suffered a bruised knee on the previous Team Extreme when Boner jumped him.

More food was called for so Gramps made some Bratwurst, Knockwurst and Kielbasa with Sauerkraut and Sears made a ton of Sausage and Peppers. All of a sudden somebody looked at their watch and said I can’t believe it is so late, it was after 2AM. Gramps had brought up Oreo cookies to make fried Oreos out of when he noticed the box was already opened. Seems Jason didn’t think there was enough food so he ate a sleeve in one bite. Gramps was upset about this as the main ingredient in Fried Oreos is Oreos so asked that no one eat anymore. Upon hearing this Chet went into piney a-hole mode and got another sleeve. Gramps asked nicely then more sternly not to open them but when a piney thinks he is being funny he will not stop until he has pissed someone off so he went ahead and opened the cookies. He quickly ate one and handed two to Boner who was slumped in his chair. Boner put one in his mouth and it just sat there as he was too messed up to chew. At this point Gramps yelled at Chet and took the opportunity to go to sleep. Without a word Boner walked back to the tent with Gramps using his temper tantrum as a diversion to escape without being questioned. Chet sat there yelling at Gramps that he can’t be mad at him. He then ranted for a while as Sears ate the rest of the sausage and peppers. Shortly after this everyone went to bed. The next morning an Oreo cookie was sitting next to Boner’s head when he woke up. It is unclear if this was the one he put in his mouth or not.

Saturday.

As usual Chet and Shoes were up at the crack of dawn. Campers who were in their tents heard the following dialog:

Shoes: You going to leave man?

Chet: Not yet, I’m going to hang for a little while.

Shoes: Give me 5 minutes and I’ll hike out with you.

Chet: Sold.

Chet and Shoes left camp before anyone else had woken up. It was another nice day but again it was very chilly. Hicks got up and started working on the fire. He was joined by Sears then Gramps and eventually Jason and Grant got up. Everyone was guessing what time Boner would be waking up. Noon seemed to be the consensus but he shocked everyone when he was up by 10. Grant got jamming on breakfast sandwiches. He started by cleaning and complaining about it being necessary that he clean the frying pan. He was crying because Gramps used the pan to cook the night before and there was stuff burned onto the pan. Gramps immediately started to make fun of Grant for complaining about this. Then gramps grabbed his pan that was used the night before and started cleaning it busting Grant’s chops every second. The sandwiches that Grant made were delicious either sausage or corned beef with egg and cheese on a hard roll.

Sitting around and keeping the fire going the crew saw many day hikers walking along the trail. It seemed to be a large amount of hiking clubs or Boy Scout organizations and there were many inappropriate comments being made about them. Looking back those that were making the comments were making them only to be heard by the Team Hikers but it is almost certain that all the comments that were made were heard by those people they were directed towards. This was probably not a good thing, well find out why in a few more paragraphs.

Because we love to eat on Team Hike Gramps started working on his roast beef that he had been working on the night before. In fact it was probably the roast beef that got Grant’s pan good and burnt. It was still really rare in the morning so it was put in the middle of the fire to continue cooking. After a little while it was sliced and dumped into beef broth. Sandwiches were made and probably would have been much better if a little more care was put into cooking the meat or working with the sauce or selecting better hard rolls but food was out and lunch was served.

Hicks and Popper had planned on only staying for one night and Gramps and Sears were thinking about bailing as well. Rocco and Parker rolled into camp at around 12 and when they were informed about these developing plans Rocco was having none of it. He started laying the guilt down about Parker coming out on his birthday to hang with us and we were going to bail on him. Gramps and Sears decided they would stay and beers were starting to get drunk around the fire. Jason, Boner and Grant went on a nature walk to the Lemon Squeezer. Every now and again someone would head out to find some wood. The fire wasn’t being made too large at this point because they didn’t want to draw too much attention to themselves.

Saturday night

(In that night)

• Rocco
• Parker
• Spugs

(Out that night)

• Shoes
• Chet
• Popper
• Hicks
• Gramps
• Parker

Memorable moments:

Taylor Ham egg and cheese on a bagel for breakfast followed up by bacon.