Team Hike – Team Extreme Winter 2006 (February 25): Wildcat Shelter Greenwood Lake NY.
Same site as all Team Extremes, 2.1 miles in, 2.1 and miles out.
Happy birthday to Gump. What would Team Hike be without rain? When we started to hike the temperature was in the low thirties and it looked like rain would definitely be coming. As we started to hike though the skies cleared and it actually warmed up to the high thirties. As the night went on the wind picked up and it got cold. Reports for the weather that night had temperatures in the low teens with wind chills below zero. Manning insisted there was a front coming through and promised us a storm that would leave one to three inches by morning. At around 10:30 we did get some snow and everyone was very impressed with Manning’s prognosis. The snow however only stuck around for 30 seconds and that was all the precipitation on the trip.
Usually on Team Hike we don’t learn a thing, in fact it is normal to be dumber for having gone. On this hike we did take one very important thing away that has never been a problem on Team Extreme before, it’s been pretty much an unwritten rule. Everyone who wants to come on Team Extreme and drink beer needs to bring at least a 12 pack and then a little hard stuff for the chalice. If you don’t want to carry the beer don’t drink any. This trip did produce more food then we could eat however, a lot went up that went uncooked and returned home with the hikers.
- Gramps
- Sterni
- Carlo
- Hummer
- The Rick
- Gump
- Grant
- Fallon
- Tommy
- Pio
- Manning
- Rocco
- Chet
- Boots McGloin
- Lt. Dan
- Spugs
- Boner
Memorable moments:
· Sterni, Carlo, Hummer & Gramps stopped at a local Greenwood Lake bar for a pre hike beer. After they were done playing songs on the jukebox that didn’t fit the bar’s patron’s tastes they met Gump, Grant, Fallon and Tommy in the parking lot. As they were ready to leave The Rick pulled up and got ready in a hurry to join them for the hike in. According to Grant the hike actually started at 10 to 1PM.
· Grant was in the parking lot handing out lunch and breakfast sandwiches. Most of the breakfast sandwiches were eaten before anyone went to bed.
· There was supposed to be a Michael Jackson type dance off in the parking lot but it didn’t happen
· No matter where we were on the trail, we were about 'halfway there'
· Pio and Manning drove up together and hiked in like a married couple and were the next into camp.
· The group that was at camp started collecting wood, there was a lot around and in no time they had enough to last throughout the night even if they burnt at a “Chet like” pace.
· Gump made campfire chili for lunch and the eating began.
· Next in was Rocco with Chet, McGloin and Lt. Dan. They pulled into the parking lot at the same time and hiked together.
· Chet led Dan and Kevin beyond the suburbs into the rural area of the campsite where they set up their tents. As soon as the tents were up Chet came back and cooked his crack clam chowder.
· Pio and Manning introduced a new game they had thought up. They brought in a couple of pens and some paper. Everyone had to take turns drawing what they thought Boner’s child would look like. The common theme seemed to be a stereotypical skinny Asian kid with a big dick. Of course there were some variations, a couple of hermaphrodites were thrown in there.
· Gramps made bacon wrapped scallops.
· Lt. Dan made chicken and pork on a fancy fire kabob tool. He also had a very interesting drink selection. He started with an oil can of Molson XXX and then moved to the traditional oil can of Fosters. Then he had flasks of orange margaritas that tasted like orange Crush soda.
· The debate over who was a better talent, Pio or Gramps started up again between Chet and Manning. Manning dubbed himself the better promoter and Chet defended himself by stating that Manning had so much more to work with. Upon hearing this Gramps fired Chet as his Manager and within seconds signed on with Manning under the Tezak label. Later in the night Gramps and Pio were singing together and Manning pulled Gramps aside and told him to let Pio sing this song by himself. His logic was that Pio is not used to working with a bass and he wanted to see if he could carry the tune by himself.
· Grant made escargot and later his Chicken and Shrimp gumbo over dirty rice.
· Spugs and Boner pulled into the parking lot at the same time. They walked in together and got to camp after dark. Spugs realized his dream and hiked in a battery powered chainsaw. It turned out to be a great tool for cutting the wood that had been dragged into camp but it is still questionable if it was a good idea to give a bunch of drunks a chainsaw.
· Rocco started up burrito-fest 2006 making awesome Buffalo chicken, turkey burger & veggie burritos.
· Boner looked through the pictures drawn for him and seemed to like them all especially Sterni’s. I will not attempt to describe what that picture was.
· We sang happy birthday to Gump and put a candle in a cupcake for him. He didn’t blow out the candle and shoved the whole cupcake with the candle still on it in his mouth.
· A sober responsible The Rick showed up again but pretty boy Tommy more then made up for him drinking. He was totally wasted… It was surprising that we didn’t need to hit him with an adrenaline shot in the chest.
· Boner made Korean BBQ, Meat, Veggies and spices served in lettuce.
· Because we were running out of beer Boner contemplated going into town to buy more. Tommy volunteered to go with him. Realizing that Tommy would not make it back to camp the trip was scrapped. Instead of being able to drink beer Boner dove into a bottle of gin and came out of it sometime on Monday.
· Boner thought that because the turnout was so good and because Spugs threatened to bring up entertainment that this was going to be his bachelor party. Because this was really just Team Extreme and there was no entertainment Boner decided that he would choose his strippers. He picked Sterni and Tommy. Pio was insulted and started dancing showing off how sexy he was.
· There was a huge debate on what exactly is a 'fifth' of alcohol. Grant seems to think it's a flask. Finally the pros (raging alky's the Mummers) settled the debate with expert testimony stating a fifth is 1/5 of a gallon or 750ml.
· We almost burnt the shelter down as the fire got out of control along with the wind (and drunken idiots). The full story goes something like this: Someone put an extremely large log on the fire and somebody else stated that it would never burn. Boner proclaimed “yes it will” and proceeded to pour white gas on the log. The flame jumped to the log and actually caught the gas container on fire. Boner for about one second tried to blow out the flame then in a panic threw the canister towards the fire (like a girl) missing the ring and spilling gas on the ground. Everyone watching this event thought the gas container was going to blow and started to scatter. After we realized the tank was not in the fire and it actually burnt out we watched the ground burning. After a minute some of the hikers realized that we should stomp out the flames instead of letting them get to the shelter and the fire outside the fire ring was put out.
· Once again drunk angry Boner came out and he started a fight with Grant. Grant was crying in his sleep and when he woke up the next morning he was unsure he would be able to walk on his surgically repaired knee. Turns out it was only a bone bruise.
· Gump personally would like thank Steve for his bruises and ruining one of his most peaceful moments on Team Hike. It kind of went like this: Gump was… lets say catatonic and under the influence of several varieties. It was peaceful…he was watching the fire flames blow 75 feet into the woods and enjoying the psalms and songs of Jason, Gramps and Pio. Steve comes to Gump and says “What are you doing Santilli? I do not trust a quiet Santilli!”. Steve leaps and tackles him to the ground as his back is thrust into a log and chainsaw sitting behind him!!! Gump goes to bed as he watches Steve move to his next victim
· Best WWE move goes to Chet as he laid Hummer out from the top step of the Shelter. Actually a more accurate depiction of this move is most awkward and it would be all but unthinkable that anyone besides Chet could earn this distinction.
· Gump had to pull over a couple of times because Tommy was too hung over for the drive. At one point he insisted he couldn’t feel his arm and had them stop at some hick store. When he was puking and Grant was holding his hair in the bathroom Tommy asked Grant to call an ambulance for him. Grant consulted Fallon and Gump and they decided a call to 911 because of a hangover would not be the right move so they gave him some apple juice and a banana and he made it home. He didn’t say a word to anyone for the entire drive however.
· Spugs called Joe Corej to see what was going on around 10pm. he did not answer. As we left him a message, Gramps yelled he should not be sleeping with guys. Corej called Spugs back at 7am and said he just got in from a gang bang party.
· Next day, Steve was still sleeping (always the last to wake up) as the mummers talked about life. As Steve was zippered into his bag, he was snoring as steam came out his bag.
· Steve always brags about his stove, this is the second trip where he almost burned down the woods. Chet was very happy with his $5 stove from Wal-Mart.
· Shoes couldn’t make it and was missed because he pulled a muscle in his back.
· Gay Carlo finally bought a place with his soul mate - Gay Kevin. -not really part of the trip, but a great side note.
E-mails that were sent out:
It is time once again to hear the weak at heart say "it is too cold to be outside overnight" as they snuggle under the covers with their girls. We say grow a set!!! Team Extreme this year will be Saturday February 25th. The location is going to be our annual winter hike site, Wildcat Shelter in Greenwood Lake NY. Last year for dinner we had Baked clams, stuffed clams, oysters Rockefeller, steamed clams, muscles, shrimp, king crab legs, striped bass, salmon ragoons, pulled pork, ribs, corn on the cob, cornbread and zeppoles and only six guys to eat it. Nothing wrong with that! This year we are looking for a few good men to join us for the hike and help carry dinner into the woods! (Stuff gets heavy quick!!!) Here is a brief look at the scouting report for this year...
Sears - Finally lost the 210 lb anchor known as Ken Brown and made his first hike in the fall. Likely to figure Team Extreme can't be any colder then it was on the fall hike and dive in.
Hicks - Will remain bloody and battered from Hicks Hockey Challenge and his electric socks are broken. Definitely out for Hike
Anthony - Will be in the same state he was in while living in NJ - drunk on his kitchen floor - except now he doesn't need the tablecloth for a blanket. All man but extremely unlikely to make the hike.
The Mummers - Likely to forget that the hike is 2/25 tomorrow but life is more fun with them. If Boner continues to recruit them there attendance is likely.
Gump and Carlo - Doubtful as there will probably be a Santilli friend's sister's niece's birthday party that they'll have to go to and not want to drive that far afterwards.
Mole - Too important at work to go on hike, stop e-mailing him. (If the hike was a club party in the city he'd be there in a second.)
Hummer - Loves to be by Boner's side (winter Hicks) - He'll be there.
Chet – After coming up with the concept and organizing every one Chet has never missed Team Extreme. With his wife about to give birth any day he was worried that he’d have to skip his first one. Thank goodness that the hike has been planned for 2/25 so he can go… He’ll be there!
Popper - Has a score to settle with coyotes. Will be there with AMCE hunting supplies.
Let us know if you are in, hopefully we'll see you up there!!! Team Extreme sounds tough but it is always a good time and to date no one has frozen to death. Close but we were able to pull him out of the snow…
IN OTHER NEWS…
We have not set a date yet but keep in mind that we will be going back to Mt. Washington in the spring. Because of the distance you’ll probably need to take a day or two off of work but we are planning on setting up a base camp and doing day hikes. This will include a hike up Tuckerman’s Ravine and the option of skiing or snowboarding down! More details to follow but start spreading the news.
Also in a drunken stupor we have decided to branch out of the North East region for hikes. We slated the spring of 2008 (20th anniversary hike) as the Grand Cannon trip. It sounds far off but we figured that something this big that has been talked about for so long would need some real planning behind it. That means start begging now for permission to leave on a trip to Arizona with your friends now. I hope we find Jimmy and his flashlight full of beans. More to come on this as well but I’m sure we’ll be talking about it on every hike and times in between.
Reminder Team Extreme is next Saturday the 25th. Sounds like a huge, record breaking crowd is going to be heading into the woods braving the above average temperatures. Let us know if you are interested and we’ll let you know what the final details are. If you just want to meet us up there (Wildcat shelter, Greenwood Lake NY) we’ll all have our cell phones on. With all the people going this year and a lot of current events I’m sure there will be some fun conversations. Some topics may be:
- The weather
- The Rick’s interesting mustache
- Carlo’s love life
- Different ways to marinate steak
- A debate over Valentines day – a lovely time to show your love for your girl or a freaking rip off thanks to Hallmark
- Stocks
- Boner’s recent engagement and the trail of women he’s left behind crying in his wake
- The way Hummer is staring at Boner
- Gump having relations with his wife once in two months and seeding her with child
- Rocco’s tips on how “real hikers” do it
- Iran’s nuclear program
- The Olympic games
I sincerely hope to see you on the trail!!! I’m pulling for even more people to come out of the woodwork for this one.
I love you all very, very much,
Gramps